Playing With Fire
by Caraline Fisher
Summary: She dances with fire but is Alan able to get her to dance with him.  Lets have three cheers for bad summaries  Just read it if you want and for the love all that is holy someone review. All your old favorites play some role in this story.
1. No Luck At All

He was the son of the Kings Champion and the squire to the knight commander of the Kings Own, god son to the king and the heir to both Trebond and Olau as his siblings took no interest in such things. The court expected certain things from him and the young ladies of the court viewed him as some sort of prize to be won. He however showed no interest in any of them or anyone really outside that of mere friendship. He was focused a trait he got from both his parents but everyone saw him as being like his mother and because of that he had a lot to live up to.

She was no body and she liked it that way. She was common and she loved it. She answered to no one but herself and she worked hard and took only what she needed. She loved to care for people children mostly and then women with men fallowing behind that. She declare herself to be a servant of the Great Mother but no one but The Rogue knew who she really was. It was said through out the lower city that she dance in the lap of The Rogue and that she was more beautiful than Queen Thayet. That's how they met whispers rising from the muck of the lower city up to the practice courts in the palace.

"Come on Plleeease. You have to come with me. For all we know our queen and your god mother could be being insulted. How can you just stand by and let something like that go unchecked." Matt had finally stooped to begging and Alan found himself sighing and wishing for once that his knight master wasn't so liberal with his free time when they were at the palace. Matthias had been bugging him for days to come with him to the lower city and now after nearly a week of praying the Kings Own would be needed else where he had run out of excuses.

It really was quite amazing that Matt was this determined this girl must be something else for him to be so focused. Usually Matt forgot what he was talking about before he finished his sentence and it was because of this that most days there was a running poll on which you could place bets for how much longer he was going to be a squire he'd already tired just about everything else under the sun. Claiming every time he lost interest in one thing that it was good for a man to know a little of everything. Alan knew it was just a matter of time before his father and Grandfather put the poor boy out of his misery and turned him on to spying.

That was one of the reasons he was such good friends with Matthias because he reminded him of Ally. Man he missed Ally she'd think of a way to get him out of this mess or she'd be helping Matt. Who was still going on about this dancing girl. "Fine lets just go and get it over with."

"Ha I knew you'd see it my way." said Matt the very picture of triumph.

There really was no arguing with Matt once he put his mind to something which is the only reason some people are betting he'll complete his knights training. Alan was not one of them he was shocked he's made it this far his money was on one more month. They walked in silence out the palace gates Alan slipped his purse into the pocket on the inside of his shirt where even the best pick pocket would have a hard time getting it and getting away with it. Matt saw this caught Alan's eye and shrugged he didn't have any money worth worrying about.

"So why were you so determined to get me to come with you?"

"Because no one else would even look at me after I said I wanted to go see the girl who dances at the Dancing Dove." Matt explained and Alan paled.

"You never said anything about the Dancing Dove!" I groaned and Matt looked at me in confusion wondering what the big deal was. The big deal was that in all of about five minutes someone was going to be running to let my dad know just where his son was and what he was doing while he was there. Just what he wanted oh and did I mention my Grandfather will know too. _'This is just getting more and more troublesome and to think I could be training my brains out right now. Maybe I should have tilted with My lord I probably could have convinced him if I'd tried but I had enough flying after yesterday's lesson.'_

Just as he was about to make up some excuse to get out of going Matt said something Alan was tired of hearing. "People are starting to talk you know. You never show any interest in girls and the only women you ever talk to are related to you in one way or another. You do realize you're gonna have to marry and have children don't you I mean it seems pretty likely that your brother is gonna end up married to his work and your sister live in the Copper Isles now."

My Gods did everyone think that just because he was focused on his knights training that that meant he was gay. The men of the Kings Own had recently taken to saying within his hearing 'So what if he is?' or 'It's none of our business who Squire Alan choices to spend his time with.' always ending with laughter. He dragged his hand down his face and glared at the sky he knew the Trickster was up there laughing at him.

We walk in the front door of the Dove and I found myself once again wishing there was some way out of this one that didn't lead to more annoying rumors about my own damn business and didn't end with him being question by his father and grandfather. _'Maybe it's my lucky day and I'll get hit by lighting when I step outside. I really shouldn't think things like that I'll have no one to blame but myself if it really happens.'_

"There she is. It's true more beautiful than the queen." Matt side as he wondered toward to table she was dancing on.

I had to agree though I'd never admit as much to my god mother. But more than anything about her it was that voice of hers that was beautiful. It was that sirens call that pulled me in but not like every other male in the room I sat at the back and got a drink and thought to myself. _'Is it really that odd to lack interest in girls I'm only 19 nearing 20 I've my whole life to find some girl and have a family can't I just be my own person for a little longer without everyone making absurd assumptions. I guess that's just too much to ask. I have to admit she is a wonderful dancer'_ And that's when The Rogue sat next to me.

"What's the son of George Cooper doing in a place like this?"

That's when I knew I had no luck at all.


	2. Violet Eyes and White Flames

"I was dragged here by a friend. You most likely saw him with me when we came in. I'm not here for anything more or less than that my friend wanted me to come and he begged for a whole week to get me here so he could see your dancer." I hoped that would be enough to get him to leave me alone but I have no such luck. I was actually beginning to believe the only kind of luck there is for me is bad.

"She's not my dancer." He stated clearly as he stared at her.

"What?" _'Why did I ask I could have kept my mouth shut and this conversation could be over right now.'_

"She's not mine I'd like her to be but a man can't have it all. She belongs to herself and no one tells her what to do. She's a free spirit. She…" He stopped so abruptly I wondered why as I fallowed his eyes and there she was standing right next to me.

"You're in my chair." She said looking down at me with a small smile. Before I even had time to respond she had sat herself down on my lap. "So what are you jawin' about with this poor boy? I hope you're not trying to send some kind of message to his former Rogue father." She lend in real close and said in a tone so quite I know the Rogue couldn't hear. "Not with all his little Whispers running about."

She hopped up and disappeared up the back stairs and I sat stunned. She knew who and what my father was something no one but his spies and a select few nobles should know. I have to get Matt and get out of here. By the time I found him and dragged his ass out of there I was sweating. I'm not a spy and I'm not about to jump head first into pit of deception just to find out what and how that girl knows what she knows I'll send word to dad and he can deal with it himself.

Matt was grinning from ear to ear as he watched me sweat. "I told you." Was all he said as he walked off leaving me stunned and pale. What did I do now? That girl knew something that could get my father killed, not that my father didn't know things that could get my father killed but he can keep his mouth shut. I have no such grantees for the girl. The girl? Great I didn't even know her name. And maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here maybe she's one of his. Maybe that was what she was trying to tell me. I'd hate to learn tomorrow that she's dead in a ditch in the lower city just because I jump to conclusions I shouldn't besides that if she isn't one of dad's then who knows what else she knows I've got to find out. I came out of my thoughts to find myself standing outside the Dove once more and there she was leaning up against the side of the building like she knew I was coming.

She smiled and took my hand. Her skin was soft and smooth unlike most everyone else in the lower city. _'What have I gotten myself into?'_

"Come with me." Was all she side before letting go of my hand and walking off at a quick pace. I found myself fallowing without a thought. Can you see why I'm not a spy like my sister? I shoved my hand in my pocket because it suddenly felt cold and empty something that made no sense what so ever. We neared a crowded little building. "Scat ain't nothin to see hear till the babe been born so off with the lot of you and you best not be returnin till mornin'." She slipped into city scant like it was the only way she knew but I felt she could speak with the education of any young lady at court and it reminded me so much of Ally that I found myself smiling for the first time in days. "You look rather nice when you smile. You ever think about doing it more often?"

She wasn't even looking at me how did she know I was smiling? I watched her this whole time she never once looked back just kept marching forward until she reach a closed door. She knocked twice and went straight in. That's when I notices the _wonderful _sounds of new life being brought into the world by a mother now questioning why she ever liked her husband in the first place. What were we doing here? Did she bring me here as a healer I'm not really trained for this. I stood there and watch in awe as she took care of the mother and used both Gift and wit to make the birth as easy as possible and then when the mother was sleeping with the baby nursing I watched in amazement as this girl turned to me and stretched.

"What's you're name?" I didn't recognize my own voice coming out of my mouth.

She smiled and headed for the door without a word to anyone once we were outside she turned to me and smiled. "I'm Flari. I'll see you around squire Alan." She waved over her shoulder as she walked off.

I looked up and saw it was well into the morning nearly time for me to get up again and with my luck for sure the Own will be called out tomorrow Or today that is.


	3. Dreams

That was the first of many sleepless nights spent with or thinking about Flari. And when I did sleep Gainel saw it fit to make certain that Flari was there as well. I couldn't stop smiling and everyone around me both noticed and committed. I spent much of my time in Corus down in the lower city watching her dance or watching her care for the people of the lower city who I learned quite quickly loved her. I found that Flari was a mystery wrapped up in an enigma. She was brilliant but she hid it well with city scant and confused looks. She was beautiful but she ignored it as if her own looks meant nothing to her and she just happened to look like that without any work at all which was mostly true. Except for her hair her hair she took care of. The only problem was she always had it up braided and curled into a bun on either the top or back of her head. I found myself fantasizing about unwinding it and running my hands through it.

She couldn't hold liquor to save her life and I sincerely hope she never has to. One small glass and she's tipsy any more than that and she's completely gone and she'll rant and rave about anything she finds even silently distasteful. Which is usually politics she knows enough to scare me and that is why I hide my relationship with her which is a very strange friendship that I desperately wish was more. I know she likes me more than anyone else besides the Rogue who I feel a strange rivalry with while at the same time I feel some sort of camaraderie with. I hate him and he hates me but only because we're both in Flari's affections.

I find myself for the first time in my life hating the fact that I am noble. If I wasn't noble I know she would be with me and I also wouldn't be worrying about if she's just a spy and though that does worry me I find I'm just not able to care enough to do something about it. I do find myself missing Ally because I know she'd be able to tell what was what in the mess I've manage to get myself into.

I've tried to find out about her past, her family and where she was born but she says nothing more than that they left her for dead and she's glad to be rid of them. I ask who taught her to use her gift and she smiles and says 'everyone and no one.' What kind of answer is that?

I wish I could talk to my lord about her I know he knows there is someone in my life now for whom I care dearly though I assume he believes it is far more than it is from the looks that he gives me when he knows I've not gotten to bed till near dawn.

I wish I could speak with Uncle Numair for I fear she is very powerful in her Gift and some days I feel as if I am too wrapped up in her to the point of questioning.

I wish I could speak Ally but she is off living her life with her family in the Copper Isles and I dare not write.

And finally I wish I could talk to my parents whom I assume already know about the time I spend with Flari if not from my lord than from one of the whispers in the city but I can't I'm afraid that the moment I voice my fears she'll be ripped out of my life and out of this world.

I find myself praying that no one asks and that someone asks. I want to tell some one who can give me some kind of answer so I go to Flari I know deep down that she does not lie. She will either answer or not and in that I will have my answer.

We sit in her room at the Dove. "Are you… Are you… a… spy?" By the end you could hardly tell I was talking but some how she heard me.

She smiled gods I love it when she smiles like that. "No." She says and I let out a breath I feel I've been holding since the day I met her. "Spies have masters and as you well know I care not for masters. I'm my own person and I answer no one."

Before I know what I'm doing I leaned over and kissed her molding my lips to hers and holding the back of her head for fear that she'd pull away. To my sear amazement she didn't pull back at all she responded and pulled me back with her till I found that I was straddling her as laid stretched out on her bed beneath me. I pulled back panting and confused _'What just happened and why in the name of all the gods did I stop.'_ I looked down to find her flushed but smiling face staring up at me most likely laughing at the confused look on my face. "I should go." I said without moving it was like I was paralyzed.

"Should you?" She asked with a soft smile I can't ever remember her bestowing to any older than five.

"Shouldn't I?" I must of looked so confused because I saw those perfect violet eyes of hers dancing with mischief.

"That all up to you of course as long as you know that this is as far as I'm willing to ever go with this…" Before she could explain farther I was kissing her again and searching for the ties to her dress.


	4. Thinking Too Much

Before long we were bare though I had no memory of taking my clothing off just feeling very hot one moment to the point of near pain and then cool air. I felt her gift flare out around the room for a moment but I didn't have any room left in my mind to wonder what she'd done with it as I as far too busy trying to feel every inch of her at once. So focus on what I was doing to her I didn't even notice she'd moved at all until I felt her hand wrap gently around me. She gave a light squeeze before she started pumping up and down in a slow motion like she had all the time in the world.

I however did not have that kind of patience as I tried to devour her entire being. Everything was driving me insane I took her hands and held them over her head when she made to move them back to my member I held them down. Anymore of that and I would be done before she felt any kind of pleasure. I felt both a little sad and a little relieved that Flari seemed to already have experience where I had none though I wished I could have been her first I was glad that this wouldn't hurt her. I looked down at her and froze when I realized I had to stop.

"It's ok you can keep going." She said as reached into the drawer of her night stand. I almost cried in relief as she draped the protection charm around her neck. The second it touched her skin I was in her. It was then that I regretted making any assumptions about her experience. I opened my eyes in shock when I broke through her barrier and I saw her flinch and watched as tears began to roll down her cheeks. I felt like an ass. I should have gone slower, made sure she was ready, or something but no I just assumed she'd already… how could I even think of her like that when I knew how picky she is about who she spends her time with. Who did I think she'd been with I mean she's only 15…

"Stop thinking and fuck me already." She said as she grabbed my ass and pushed me farther in. And from that point on there was very little thinking done. Neither of us thought about the fact that surly everyone in the court of the rogue could hear us as we rocked back and forth against one another or the fact that the door had no lock or anything else that in our right minds might have been deemed very important. I felt her climax and went right over the brink. We both just collapsed panting against each others neck. After a long minute I rolled over and pulled the covers over us and just like that we fell asleep. Just before I closed my eyes I wondered where my cloths had gone but that could wait until morning.


	5. Too Good to Last

I woke to my knight master pulling the sheets off us. I knew I should have looked for my cloths though at the moment I was more concerned with covering Flari who for some reason was smiling. Oh that's right she has the strangest since of humor she reminds me of dad that way.

"Where's your cloths?" Raoul asked in a voice that let me know I was never going to hear the end of this.

"On the floor some where I would assume." I answered in a defeated tone.

"Nope no cloths here." He gestured to the floor.

"I burned our cloths off last night sorry. Tiberus! Bring Alan a change of cloths his got destroyed." She yelled out the door.

"Do you mind leaving until she's dressed my lord?" I asked with a glare at him and then the open door. "And by the way haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

Raoul just smiled and walked out the door. Yep I'll never hear the end of this. Flari dress quickly in one of her dancing outfits and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Last night was amazing. I'm going to go and greet this wonderful day properly. Good bye Alan I love you." And just like that she was out the door.

I just sat there in shock until my lord threw cloths at my head. I put them on quickly as I thought. _'She loves me!'_ My lord laughed at the smile on my face and said the only thing in the world that could bring me down in that moment.

"I can't wait till we meet your mother at the city gate and explain why we're so late."

"My gods someone just kill me now." I whispered as I pulled on my boots. Thankfully I'd taken them off last night while we talked or I most likely be needing new boots as well. As we walked toward the door I caught the Rogue glaring at me. What was he so upset about? Soon my mother would be putting me out of his misery.

We rode toward the city gates quietly. Well I was quiet my lord couldn't stop snickering and saying 'Greet this wonderful day' over and over. I was starting to hate him I really was. When we made it to the gate we found the men of the third company and a very displeased looking Loiness.

"Where were you this morning Alan?" Mother asked and I tried to speak with no success however my lord had no such problem.

"Boys get moving we've work to do." Once third company was on the move Raoul turn to Alanna. "Are you sure you want to know I mean you've probably notice he's not wearing his own cloths this morning?" He laughed along with the men of the owe within hearing. Who of course felt the need to pass on the joke.

Alanna blushed at the implication but that didn't stop her from asking questions I didn't have answers to. "Who is she and just what is your relationship with her?"

"Who said it's a girl?" One the Own called out causing most everyone to laugh at my expense. _'Really in front of my mother?' _

"Alan?" Mother asked looking both confused and a little worried great she hadn't know about those jokes before.

"Her name is Flari and I'm not really sure what to make of our relationship just yet. Up till yesterday we were just friends and now I'm not really sure. Lovers I suppose." I told her quietly but clearly not quietly enough because the next thing I know half the third company had turned to stare at me. "What!"

"Your sleeping with the Rogues girl?" Wolset asked mouth gapping.

"She's not the Rogue's girl. She's not anyone's girl she make her own decisions and no one can make her do anything she doesn't want to you'd best remember that because if she ever hear you call her that I'm quite certain she'd make you regret it." I should have kept my mouth shut once again I demonstrate why I'm not a spy.

"And how's she gonna do that I'm a well train soldier and she's 15 year old girl whose only skill as far as I know is dancing." He smirked and I just wanted to punch him.

"She quite good with her Gift how did you think he'd lost his cloths." My lord guffawed yep never living this down.

Instead of staying and putting up with this I glared at my lord and to be a sentry on our right. This was going to be the longest day of my life.


	6. The Talk and More Talks

Once they'd gotten to work there was too little time and energy left over to torment me with. So it wasn't until we were headed back to Corus that mother finally decided to pull me aside. "So…"

"Yes mother?" I didn't want to have this talk I was 20 I could bed a girl if I wanted to and it was none of her business sort of.

"Were you safe Alan from what you've said this wasn't a planed step in your relationship I just"

"Stop right there it may not have been planed but yes she wore a charm. Happy?" I really just want this to be over with. I really didn't like talking about Flari I let more and more out with each conversation I had about her and it was now very clear to everyone in the third company that I was in love with her which since meant my mother knew so as well since she'd been traveling with us. I just knew that dad would be waiting for me in my rooms the minute we got back to the palace not that I really planed to head straight to my room no I thought I'd head straight to the bath and then wonder around until I pass out in some nice corner until someone finds me and drags me away to talk with my family about things I'm ready to talk about.

"When can I met her?" Alanna asked with a smile if her son liked this girl then she was going to try and like her too. She sounded like just the kind of person she could get along with.

"Oh no please don't force me to introduce her to you and da she wouldn't like that and I told you I'm not even sure what kind of relationship we even have I mean the last time she saw me my naked butt was being dragged off by lord can't nock over there and she hasn't heard from me since as far as I know she's changed her mind about us or maybe regrets it now I don't know… Just let me do this in my own way please you'll met her if you met when you met her got it?"

"Why would you say something like that? She told you she loved you Raoul told me. You're quite the catch Alan and women would be lucky to have you. And I know for a fact that it's the dream of many a young lady"

"Stop she's not like that. Do you really think I'd like her if she was? Come on please mother she knows what a catch I am she also know that when you catch a fish there's strings attached. The bigger the fish the more strings. She really doesn't care for such things. The things that have half the girls in court after me make me less desirable to her."

"Alan is this going to come between you and your training?" Alanna seemed truly concerned with his ordeal looming in just under a year and a half now was not the time to start questioning what he wanted in life not that she feared he'd decided to quit his knights training. No she feared he walk into the chamber with real doubts about what he wants and she did not want to lose her son to the Chamber of Ordeal. The very idea terrified her.

"No mom Flari would never even let me think about giving up what I want in life. She'd kick my ass if she even thought I was thinking about it. She's very concerned with people making their choices to make their live what they want instead of what everyone expects of them or wants from them. Look I don't really know her as well as I'd like to so please just stay out of it."

Mom continued to look at her feet for awhile I was hoping she'd leave because the longer she did this the more nervous he became. "What did you do?"

"I wrote your dad." And that was the end of my life.

Back in Corus George Cooper walked into the Dancing Dove for the first time in over 2 decades. It was almost like stepping back in time and he took a moment to run over all the wonderful memories he had here in this place and then he snapped back to the present scanning the room for the young lass who'd stolen his youngest boy's heart. She wasn't hard to find since she walked straight up to him took his hand and lead him up stairs to a small room across from the one he knew the King used. He wounded what she thought she was doing until she shut the door behind him and he saw Gift fill every portion of the room he briefly wondered if the mages at the university knew about she girl's talent.

"What do you think you're doing coming in here like this. Do you want to start a riot? I know for a fact that you're no idiot but even to meet your son's new girl there's no reason for you to come in here. That's what your fool whispers are for isn't it? To keep your ass out of the fire as much as possible so you're around to compile the information they bring in."

My gods who is this girl and what had Alan trusted her with. "What?" Gods that was an intelligent response.

"Surely the former king of the rogue can come up with something a bit better than that."

That's when he pulled a knife on her.

"Who are you and what do you know?" He demanded.

"Just how long have you got? We could be here all night. Let's just assume I know far more than I should while also under the understanding that your son never even mentioned you not once has he told me anything that he shouldn't." The knife bit into her skin in the thinnest of cuts.

"You'll die where you stand if you don't give me a strait answer." I hissed and she just smiled at me like this was just a normal day. I guess she did live in the court of the rogue so this most likely not the first time she's had a knife pulled on her and she very well may have the training to get herself out of just such a tight spot. "I'm I not making myself clear here?"

"What do you think your son will think when he gets home to find his lover dead at the hands of his father? Just something to ponder. Not that it matters I'm no body and I like it that way I'm not a spy but I admit I'd make a damn good one. Best place to hide is in plan sight after all. But you would know that now wouldn't you I mean you live it every day. I'm not thinking that you're going to consider your sons feeling for me if you think I'm a real threat. Just know that I'm not a threat unless you make me one. No one can hear what's going on in this room and no one can enter until I let the wards down. So no one would hear if someone were to scream out in pain."

She's still smiling how can she keep smiling with a knife to her throat. "Just how much Gift do you have girl?"

"A lot more than enough to hand your ass if necessary without breaking a sweat." She answered with a glare all her own.

I put the knife away and asked "Do like tea?"

"Yeah." I saw her relax and see the knife must have had some affect.

"Care to have a cup?"


	7. Tea and Dance

George notices her shutter as she stepped inside the palace. "Are ya cold?"

"Nope just discussed I never thought I'd be up here for any reason even one so meaningless as having a cup of tea with my lovers father. And you can stop talking like that I know you know that I'm well educated." Flari walked next to me like she knew where we were headed and for all I knew she did it'd been a very old time since I had a real mystery on my hands and that's when I notice a symbol of the Trickster dangling from around her neck.

"So you're in his servious is he trying to take all my kids."

"What in all the realms are you speaking of?" She demanded

"You wear a symbol of the Trickster. I just assumed you do live at the dove after all." I explained.

"I serve the Great Mother Goddess no one less such as this trickster you speak of." She responded and then she ducked her head and blushed like a young court lady and glaced to the side so lost in this mystery I didn't even notice Numair as he came up.

"George I was looking for you the king wishes to see you. Who's this young lady?" Numair asked with a smile and a slight bow as he tried to take her hand to bring it to his lips but she flinched back away from him. Once a player always a player or so they say. He was only trying to play with the girl and she looked like a rat in a trap waiting for the snap.

"She's a friend of Alan's." I answered as I watch Numair as the truth dawned on him and then the girl did the most baffling thing yet she fainted and I know she did it on purpose but it was a real faint not a trick she used her Gift to make herself faint. We took he up to the healers wing and left her there while I went to see the king. When I came back I grabbed my wives former squire.

"What do you think of the girl?" I asked him knowing he'd understand.

"She's no spy she's well educated and very good at pretending to sleep but I think you and I both know that what she's hiding is a master's name." Neal answered in a hushed voice. "I think from what you said when you brought her in that she was trying to get away from Numair. She's got more Gift than I have that's for sure and she seems to know how to use it better than any city girl has right to. That is what I think. I think you should bring Numair in here and she if she tries to escape again." Neal finished

"That is a great idea. Such a great idea I think I must be losing my touch to not have thought of it first I need Ally around to keep me sharp. I'll go get him make sure she does not leave." Nearly an hour passed in my hunt for Numair who was apparently playing hid and seek with half the palace as everyone thought he was suppose to be some where else than where I actually found him in his rooms playing with his children. After a quick talk I had him and Sara following me back to the healers wing.

"Just lets see what she does come in after me." I walked in and went up to the bed she sat in.

"Sorry about that I don't know what came over me."

By the gods this girl is a master lair I wonder what lies she spilled into my son's ear.

"Baron George a minute please?" Neal asked

"What is it?"

"She drained her gift she got up and wondered all over the wing while you were gone and healed everyone that was here or came in and gave a young women the news that she is now carrying twins. I'd be shocked if she's got any gift left for him to see."

"She a crafty one isn't she and those eyes if I didn't know better I'd swear she was Alanna's younger sister. Well lets see how she acts here comes Numair,"

"Beautiful lady." Sara cried. "What's your name lady?" Sara asked

"Sorry she likes to know everything." Numair explain proudly.

"It's no trouble at all of course. Child you've been blessed by a goddess to you wish to be blessed again?" And before any of us could do anything Sara nodded her little head and Flari lifted her hand above the girls head drew a strange symbol and said "Bless this child of your this daughter of the earth in all the paths she may wonder for all of her days keep her from being mislead by the wills of others and keep her pure and safe till she chooses to give herself to another and not one moment before she chooses. Be blessed in the name of the Great Mother Goddess." Sara's entire being lit up for the smallest portion of a second and then faded as if it had never been.

"Who are you really?" Numair asked but he made no move to get Sara away from her so whatever the spell she used must have just been for blessing as she'd said.

"Me? I'm just a lower city girl whose caught the eye of a young squire that's all no one really I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon enough and realize that I'm no noble lady meant for marryin'. I'm just a commoner no one of any real importance at all."

Her acted was good but she was laying it on a bit thick down cast eyes a light blush staining her cheeks the shine in her eyes like unshed tears and the slight quiver to her voice like she was ashamed that she couldn't offer Alan more and sad at the thought of losing him to someone better fitting his station. "You're a noble aren't you?" I'd figured it out she flinched when I said it and she glared at me like I'd called her some common whore.

"Don't you ever call me a noble again George Cooper or I'll make sure you regret it. And I'll have you know that your son knows just how I feel about nobles I'll have nothing to do with this false freedom that this world wraps it women in. I'd rather dance in a pit of honest thieves than dance up here in a pit of lies and deception. Don't trouble yourself with me any long Mr. Cooper because your son will come to his senses as soon as the headedness of first love wears off and he see that he could have nothing with me since I'll never consent to becoming apart of this world. And since I know he truly wants what this world has to offer him I'd never let him abandon it for me neither. Good day and don't come around looking for me again or I'll you fight off the people who'd be happy to kill you."

And with that she was gone.


	8. That's What I Thought

Just as expected my dad sat in my room when we go back to Corus. My lord had gone to find Buri and mom had said something about needing to speak with John so here I was standing alone in my own room feeling very awkward. "So what do you want just say it and get it over with."

"What does that girl mean to you exactly? I need you to lay it out nice and neat for me and then I'll tell you what I think but what I think really deepens on your answer." Dad answered and spread his arms out wide ready and waiting to hear what I had to say.

"I don't really care what you think you know I already figured out the stupid thing I've gotten myself wrapped up in all on my own and I don't need to hear you tell me things I already know so why don't you go find your wife and be happy that she grew out of her stubborn refusal to marry. Just get out of my room da I can't talk to you right now."

"Her name is Ocell and she just as noble if not more blue blooded than you. Oh and she's listed as being dead and I think her family is planning treason from what I've found since I spoke to her last week. Her family is diffinantly planning to over throw the king. She calls the court a pit of snakes who know not but lies and deception." Dad told me as he continued to sit at my desk.

"Get out I don't care and it's not like she's wrong. Me and Ally were brought up oh a handful of lies to match every truth just get out. I know she doesn't want what I have to offer her I know. I don't need you to spell it out for me! I get it I'm in love with a girl who may love me as person but would never consent to being my wife. Just go I want some sleep and for once I just want to not dream please if the Gods have any mercy just let me sleep."

I got in bed fully dressed and turned away from my dad and turned my back on the whole world for a little while I know I was being childish but I don't care. I did not want to talk about this and I didn't want to learn things about Flari from my dad I wanted her to trust me and tell me herself. I wanted more I wanted her here in this bed right now so I could hold her but I knew I'd want more I'd always be left wanting more. My order is in 14 months and then I will have give my oath to the King and I will be tied to my noble blood in a way I would not and could not undo. I tried to remember the happy feeling of just hearing her say she loved me but I couldn't. It wouldn't come I couldn't help it I started to cry my dad had already left so at least no one saw.

In the kings study

"So it's true the rumors about Alan meeting a girl well go for him. Gods know we all took lovers when we we're squires." John said with a smile he was happy to hear his god-son had a young lady in his life.

George walked in and kissed his wife on the cheek. "Yes as I recall it you did have one or two girls when you were Squire John. But it's not as easy as the little romances you had we all know Alan only takes notice of things he really cares about and everything else just slips into the back ground. Lanna he's in love with her." George told his wife solemnly

"What good for him it shouldn't matter who he loves after all you weren't exactly high born yourself laddy buck so why would you care. I thought you preferred commoners what's the big deal?" Alanna demanded.

"She's not a commoner she got older blue blood than you've got Lanna and second of all she hates nobility and it's common knowledge in the lower city she basically hate the king."

"But then how?.. I don't understand Alan wouldn't like a girl like that. Explain now." She crossed her arms and stared her husband down.

"I figured out who she was by her age and asking around until I figure about what time she first appeared in the lower city. As it turns out she went to the temple of the Great Mother first after her parents left her for dead and clamed she had died. Her real name is Ocell ring any bells John? What about you Alanna I seem to remember you being quite upset when she 'died'."

"No she can't be that girl. George are you sure about this?" John asked while Alanna was still thinking.

"Yes I talked to a few people who knew Ocell and they all said that they remembered very well that she had violet eyes and brown hair and a sharp tongue that her parents despised. She hasn't really changed that much. If you still doubt I think I know a way to know for curtain." George stated

"Well?" John was not liking where this was headed if that girl was alive it could mean all kind of trouble.

"We ask her twin." George stated like it was the most obvous thing in the world.

"You're talking about the girl who died in the Chamber of Ordeal. If she's alive… if she survived what does that mean John?" Alanna looked nervous and John looked upset.

"Well first and least of it all it would mean that based on the oldest laws she could calm a shield though I'm fairly certain she would not get it because she'd have to enter the chamber. After that it would mean that one of the oldest noble families is and has been lying to the crown for gods only know how long. Surely this is not the only thing they've lied about. It would mean that if she wanted to she could bring her whole family before the courts and as long as she could prove who she was she could take everything. There land their titles everything she could make them beggars on the street she could destroy one of the oldest families in Tortall."

"She won't." George interrupted

"Why wouldn't she I mean if she returns to court with Alan"  
"She wants nothing to do with nobility weren't you listening John she hates you but she wants nothing to do with you or the world you live in here at court. She doesn't want to be tied up in court affairs and she will not be coming to court with Alan. I'm worried about him actually he's really in love with this girl and she well from what I understand she cares for him and she's willing to be his lover but she would rather run herself threw with a sword than ever be a nobleman's wife. Alan knows this by the way and it's eating him up. He's angry and upset. He told me to get out of his room. How is it effecting him in the field Lanna?"

"It's not Raoul actually commented that 'If he'd know that all it would take to get Alan to improve so much in his sword skill was sex he would have found him a girl a while ago.' And then I dragged his laughing ass outside and made him regret it but everyone commented about how much more calm and focused Alan seemed from the last time he was out. He was using his work as a distraction and now that he has nothing to do it's all crashing in on him. Some times I swear that boy is too much like me."

"Her family is up to something John and it does not look good I think we need to assume they what to over throw you."

"Well that's just lovely. The fun never stops." John sighed and a guard stuck his head in.

"Your majesty Master Salmalin is here to see you."

"Yes let him in."

"Good evening. I did as you asked and checked the girl out the second my magic touched her she put up a shield and fled and she was angry George I think we're really making her mad so I went down to the dove in the best disguise I could muster up and I hate to say this because you're really not going to like it. That girl has as much magic as I do if not more and she's able to use it more precisely than anyone should be able I'm thinking we might have another demi-god on our hands."

"How she has a twin who is currently at the convent school and has no magic at all. Though from what I've heard they look nothing a like." George wondered aloud as he begun pacing.

"One more thing you will not like. I don't know what it is because I couldn't get close enough but she has a gift from a god I don't know which or what it might do but she has one she wears it around her neck it's sliver in color though it might not really be I have no idea how to even begin trying to figure out what it might be."  
"Oh Dear Gods! Why do you keep laughing at me wasn't our association a good one couldn't you just leave my children alone damn you!" George yelled at the ceiling. Trickster stop messing with my kids."

"Now that's enough I'll have you know I have nothing to do with this it's just a happy coincidence that your son happens to be one of her servants it'll be just as much a torment to her as it is to him he won't suffer long before she puts him out of his misery and se stole that from me fair a square not that I haven't thought about getting it back from time to time but be that as it may I'm not to blame for this and I can't do anything about it so don't ask also I was asked to let you know if I should happen to stop by that Ally is once again expecting chicks. Well I've got more important things to do." And with that the god was gone and everyone was left with a lot to think about.


	9. That Doesn't Change Anything

**Wow it's been a few months hasn't it. Well no one reviewed this story but someone so crazy person added it to their favorites and so I will push on forward and write the next chapter. That is I hope…**

"Her servant?" Alanna looked from George to Numair for an answer. "Whose servant? What did he mean by that? George?"

"I'm not sure lass. I have no idea what he was going on about." George looked at Numair.

"I couldn't tell you anything unless you know something I don't." Numair said nervously it was very pleasant to be in the room with the spy master and the kings champion when it seemed that both of them were about to take a trip over the edge.

"The key she wears I can't believe it's the real thing. I doubt she even knows what it does. It'll open any door or make a door where there isn't one. That's all I know maybe you could ask Daine's parents next time you speak with them." George said.

"I know her." Myles said as he slipped into the room.

"You do?" George was shocked.

"Yes she's a healer in the lower city she's help birth more babies than any one healer has done here in the palace. She'll help anyone who needs it and she doesn't let anyone pay her. She lives by her wits but not as a thief. She merely live in the court of the Rouge but she isn't in their serves. I've spoken with her many times those she never drops the city talk around me I know for fact that she is beyond brilliant. She would make a wonderful spy I tried many times to drawl her into it but she acts as thou she simply doesn't understand what I'm talking about which I know isn't true. She makes it appoint to speak poorly of you Jonathan but only in regards to you as the king and only when she knows no one will hear her. What she keeps even more closely guarded is the fact that she actually likes you quite a bit thou I've no idea what that really amounts to and lately she been dropping hints about some sort of treason thou I still haven't figured out how she would know that or whom she is referring to. She's a good girl strong and stubborn but that's nothing new to us now is it." Myles finish with a smile at his daughter.

"Yes we are in no short supply of strong stubborn women." Numair said with a smile. "Do think that she might be willing to talk to us."

"Talk? Yes why wouldn't she. She loves to talk to people she like to talk around people. That doesn't mean she'll tell you what you want to hear and it doesn't mean that once you've made her mad that she'll get flustered. She likes to speak only the truth she once told me it was good practice in case she ever needed to weave the truth for a god." Myles told them seriously. "I've hear that she and Alan were getting close and I thought that it wouldn't go very far since she is so against nobility but I suppose she made an exception. I'm sorry I didn't tell you because it seemed clear that Alan was trying to hide their association. I don't know what all the fuss is about she'll do no harm. It's not in her nature. Much like you Numair she is powerful but she'd rather study except her study is of people not of books." Myles took a seat and the continued to talk.

However on the other side of the palace Alan was having a hard time sleeping. He took his pillow and threw it across the room.

"That'll teach it." Flari laughed.

Alan sat up so quickly he nearly fell out of bed. "Flari?"

She walked over and sat on his bed. "I hear you were back so I came to see you."

"I'm so sorry. My family they…"

"I know but I don't care." She said flatly.

"Really?"

"Really." She smiled at him in the darkness. "Well this is a stimulating conversation. Don't you have anything to say you've been away for ages."

"Yes well I spent all my time working until I passed out or being relentlessly mocked by the men of the Own."

"Yeah well at least they aren't suggesting you like men anymore. So why were you throwing your pillow?" Flari asked once again laughing.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Now it all makes since. So you were hoping that by throwing your pillow across the room that that would help you sleep. You should have just come to see me. I can help you get to sleep." She hopped up and grabbed his pillow. "Lay down and close your eyes." She ordered him.

And without thinking he started to do as she said. "Flari I…"

"Don't talk that doesn't help. I just want to lay here with you nothing more. Last time was… Well it was surprising. And I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to repeat it but right now I'd like nothing better than to just lay in your arms and talk or sleep which ever you'd like." Flari watched him carefully lay down when she laid next to him he pulled her close.

"I missed you." Alan whispered into her hair.

"I missed you to and the scares me quite a bit."

"Why?" Alan knew the answer but he wanted to know what answer she would give.

"You know why."

"Yes I suppose I do. It scares me too." He held her tight.

"Yes I know it does that why you're throwing pillows and snapping at your father."

"You saw that?"

"No I just figured it had to happen. You didn't want him to know about me. I didn't want him to know about me. But who cares now it doesn't matter. I don't want to be scared of loving you Alan. But I can't give you the things you deserve so I am. And I do."

"Do what?"

"Love you. I do love you. " She said quietly.

"But that doesn't really change anything does it?"

"No it doesn't." She confirmed.

"Me too. I love you too." He said softly.

"Doesn't change anything does it." She smiled sadly at the wall across from her.

"No I guess it doesn't. I wonder how long we can carry on like this." Alan wondered.

"For as long as you'd like. I'm not going anywhere."

"But you won't marry me will you?"

"No." She whispered. And for the rest of the night they just held each other.

**Well sorry if I stop here for a while. I kind of want to go home and reread my Tortall books before I go any farther.**


	10. Beltane

Beltane I hate the very idea of it at this moment. Everyone in the Own has been teasing me but Flari is right it's better than it was. I'm in Corus and I wish I wasn't I know that my father has someone tailing me when I go into the city now but usually Flari takes care of them. But tonight her favorite night of the year. She says she just loves the idea. The romance of it and the fact that it marks the creation of a lot little ones her words not mine. I walk down into the city watching carefully many people are drunk and I know how that makes people act.

"Alan!"

Oh the gods hate me. "My lord what are you doing down in the city tonight?" I look just behind him. "Oh Buri I did not see you. Are you two spending Beltane in the city this year?" I pray they are planning to go off and leave me alone.

"We've been set to follow you by your father and your mother but Alanna will deny it if you ask her. Come to think of it so will George oh well." Rauol told me.

"Fine." I snapped at him. I didn't care what he thought of it he'd given me the night off so that meant that for tonight he was just my uncle and he was bothering me.

"Try to keep that temper of yours under control." Rauol told me I wanted snap at him again but what would the point be all he had to do was order me back to the castle and my night would be over.

We walked together quietly at least I seemed to be ruining their night as they were ruining mine. I heard the sound of her voice and moved faster. I heard my lord chuckle. I rolled my eyes. I turned the corner and there she was. Dress so inappropriately that mothers were shoeing their children away from her but it wasn't really working. The children of the city love her so much. Actually all children seem to be attracted to her Sarah hadn't spoken of anything but the pretty lady from the healers ward since she'd met her. I sighed it was a relief just to be in her presents some days more than others. But still… She was dancing I wished she would have worn something else while at the same time I wish she was wearing nothing at all and alone with me. NO stop she made it clear that this would not be a night that we spent together in bed. It was a night when children were conceived a night to celebrate lifelong loves. She refused to wear her charm tonight and she was not wearing now unlike most of the other girls around her age or just a little older. Young ladies not looking for anything but a fun time on this night of romance. Flari was the most beautiful untouchable thing I had ever seen.

"She is something to look at. Don't tell Thayet but she's just as pretty as she was when she first came to court if not more so." Rauol flinched as Buri kicked him in the shin.

Flari bowed low and looked up and saw Alan. "ALAN!" She ran to him she was clearly drunk and I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.

"Flari have you been drinking?" I asked her sternly.

"Yes!" She laughed and spun in a circle. She really did love to move and to be seen.

"You are not a very good drunk my dear Flari. Why did you drink?" I asked in a whisper.

"It's Beltane it is a night of great passions. And I wanted to see it from the loosest most free point of my mind. Ahh I see you have chaperones. HA ha ha." She laughed joyously. "You are pregnant are you sure you should be out here with all the drunk city folk?" She looked straight at Buri like she'd not had a drop to drink and then she reached out and took her hands and started to try and get her to dance.

"What is she going on about Buri isn't Pregnant." Rauol told me.

I smiled this was too perfect. "If Flari says she's pregnant she's pregnant I've never known her to be wrong about these things." I looked him in the eye to let him know I was quiet serious.

Rauol stepped forward quickly and took his wife and looked at her like he was the happiest man alive. "Is it true are you really?"

"Don't be ridiculous of course not." Buri told him and his smile faded. Buri rolled her eyes at him and held out her charm.

"That is broken you have gift Sir surely you knew that." Rauol did a double take. He couldn't see what was plain to me now that I knew what I was looking for. Flari got into his face and waved a finger at him. "I'm drunk not stupid I'll have you know that I am the most powerful mage in all the city. I'm not wrong I…" I put my hand over her mouth this is why I didn't want her to drink.

"Enough said my dear girl please say no more there are too many ears here." I looked at her and she looked at me in a way that should be declare illegal. I wanted her I wanted her right then and there.

"I am not Pregnant!" Buri said indignantly.

"Yes you are what are you upset about I'd love to be…" Once again I put my hand over her mouth she was sure talkative tonight. Rauol didn't know what to be more shocked about the power she claimed to have, the fact that she wanted children, or his wife being pregnant. I knew he could now she that her charm was broken.

"Alan?" Oh joy my mother. "What are you wearing girl?" Alanna eyed Flari strangely and then it hit home who she was. "Alan?" She asked with dislike.

"Flari my mother. Mother Flari. You've already met my father I beg you not to say what you are thinking." I made introductions in a clipped tone.

"Yes he put a knife to my throat it was fun. And then I got to pay cat and mouse with Numair. Oh and Sarah she was so prefect like a doll." I put my hand over her mouth again. I did not wish my father to realize that all he had to do was ask the right thing when she was drunk and she'd tell him anything.

Too late it seemed. "So girl what are you doing?"

"Don't talk to me you're a jerk! I don't want to talk to your wife the Kings Champion either. I don't want to talk to any of you I want to dance!" She was being loud thank you again alcohol. I let her go and she when back to her dancing.

"How much has she had to drink?" George asked.

"Can I just say too much and I don't know. I… We just got here. Hey mom can you settle the argument and tell Buri if she's pregnant?"

Alanna looked confused but she walked over and placed her hand over Buri's stomach. She then looked up with this watery smile. "You're pregnant."

"No." Buri looked on in shock and Rauol hugged her. "I'm not ready."

Flari heard that and decide to rejoin the conversation. "You'll be ready or the baby will die that's how it works. I highly doubt you are unready. You will make a wonderful mother much better than some of the people down here in the city. You'll be fine I'll take care of you personally if you'd like." She didn't slur her words like most people do when they're drunk but you can tell by the big smile and the sharp quick words she'd normally keep to herself.

Flari laughed again I knew she was really enjoying herself. She looked at me that way again completely unashamed to be completely enamored with me. Clearly lusting after me it was written on her face as plain as day. I wished it was darker so people couldn't see how she was looking at me so clearly. She didn't care what my parents thought. That wasn't the alcohol that was just Flari. Someone from the Dove handed her a drink and she throw it down like she drank all the time I tried to stop her but she was too far away. "No Flari please you have to stop drinking or I'm going to ended up caring you back to the Dove."

"Maybe I want you to take me home." She eyed me in a way that was clearly meant to be suggestive. My mom looked stunned and da he looked like he saw an opportunity.

"So Flari what can you do with your gift? Just general." George asked her.

"Flari don't please don't." I wanted more than anything to beg her to be silent.

"I can do with my gift anything I want to do with it." Flari told him. I thanked all the gods that she put it that way.

"What about that necklace? Where did you get that?" George asked her carefully.

I wondered about that too. She always wore that but it didn't seem like something she'd buy for herself. "I've had this my whole life it's magic." She whispered the last two words like they were a secret and then she spun around in a circle I really wished she'd stop showing how drunk she was and now she was a bit unsteady on her feet and I knew she'd want to dance more. "It lets me open doors that are locked and sometimes it makes doors where there aren't any. It's how I get into Alan's room at night." I hit myself in the face and grabbed her hand and pulled her into me. I put my arms around her to try and make her stop. Trying to protect her from the prying words of my father.

"Please don't ask her things right now dad she's drunk please I'm begging you not to take advance of this." I just confirmed that she was always like this when she drank. I should not have given him that piece of information.

"Do you know what that Necklace is lass? It the Tricksters Key. It's a gods magic in that necklace. You could use it for all kinds of things. Don't tell me all you use it for is"

"Shut up Dad! I want you to stop and if you don't I'll make you!" I glared at him he needed to see that I was serious. But sadly Flari didn't really care.

"Oh I've used it to go into the university once or twice I want to look at some of the books on healing." I pulled her hand and started to walk away from them. I was bent on getting her away from them. "Alan I was talking to him." Flari complained but she didn't pull away. My dad started to follow but my mom stopped him. Thank the Goddess. "Alan are we going someplace quite?"

She looked at me like I was the only man in the world and I loved her for it. She always looked at me like that. I wanted her to always look at me like that. I knew that would be one of the things I'd find myself thinking about as I sit in my visual the night of my Ordeal. I pulled her into a ally and I kissed her. I kissed her like this would be the last time and she kissed me back. We spent that night together and she whisper words of love and devotion while I made love to her. It was different than every other time. She said things that she never would have told me if she had been sober. She told me that I was it. The only one for her and she loved me and would always love me. She told me that she didn't want to be a noble but she also didn't want to let me go just as much. She cried herself to sleep. And I found myself feeling a terrible amount of emotions all at once. I was angry and happy. I was miserable. I hate my life but I knew I wouldn't walk a different path. And I'd never felt more sure that I had made the right choice while feeling at the same time like I was drowning. I wondered if this was how dad felt when mom was with the king back when she was a squire and he was still the Prince. I'd ask him if I could bring myself to.

**OK were all done. With this chapter at least. I'm sorry I had to post it like this but I had to leave work and that is where the computer is**.


	11. Lost

I woke up and I was back in my chambers with Flari wrapped up in my arms. She starred at the wall. I wondered how long she'd been like that. I also wondered if the hangover had kicked in. "How are you this morning?"

"Feeling quiet foolish. I said something I should never have trusted to any soul but you. By now your knight master has told you're father that I'm a powerful mage like he didn't already know that but by the Gods I told them about my necklace. I can't stay now Alan. I have to go." Flari got up and dressed in one of my shifts and her skirt from the night before. "I love you Alan. I have to go. Bye."

And she was gone. I didn't get a chance to look for her as the Own was called out that day. Rauol smiled the whole day. The men quickly learned that Rauol was to be a father. We were away from Corus for almost two months. When we returned my lord gave me the evening to myself. I went to the Dove.

When I walked in I was greeted by the Rouge. "She's gone boy."

"What?"

"She's gone has been since the day after Beltane. She left she didn't say why but she asked for a horse and she left." The Rouge looked sad but he wasn't letting her leaving lose him his throne.

"She's gone? From the city?" I'd never thought she would leave the city. I'd never thought that even when she broke things off with me that there would ever be a time when I didn't know how to find her and it left me feeling cold and broke. Lost is the word I'm looking for. I felt lost. I left the Dove and wondered back up to the palace. In the practiced court I shot my bow for over a hour before someone found me there.

"What are you doing?"

I looked up and there was Numair. "I'm practicing. Do you need something?"

"Yes I need to know when you became as bad a shot as me." Numair watch Alan with a weary look in his eye. He could see something was really wrong and he knew Alan was a good shot. As good as his mother if not better since Daine had taught him to shoot.

"I…" I looked up I wasn't doing anything but unlearning the right way to shoot. I unstrung my bow and went to pick up my stray arrows. "I guess I'm just not focused. I'll just come back later." I didn't know what to do. I needed something to do but I had nothing. I couldn't do anything that needed a partner they'd either run my through or notice something was wrong.

Numair watched as Alan picked up arrows the poor boy looked like someone had just died. Maybe someone had they did just get back from an assignment. "Is everything alright Alan did anyone get hurt on the assignment you were on?"

"Oh nothing big just a few injuries nothing to worry about." I answered without thinking. Thinking hurt a lot. I decided I was far better off not to do it. That was a great idea I would go get drunk and not think anymore.

"I think I know what you are thinking it's a bad idea I've tried it before it's never any fun."

"What?" I asked him. Uncle Numair couldn't read minds so what did he know. I glared at him. I just wanted to be left alone. I was alone! I felt my knees shake under me and my vision got blurry.

"Alan what happened? Did you and Flari get into a fight?" Numair asked me.

I wanted to hit him. I really just wanted to hit him. And why shouldn't I. He was happy. He had somehow found that perfect someone and managed to keep her until she was ready to take him forever. Just like everyone else seemed to be able to. My parents, the king and queen, Mothers former squire Neal. Everyone seemed to be able to find just the person they need to complete themselves and held on to them. I'm not sure how it happened but I hit him hard. I think I might actually have broken his jaw. I just looked at him and walked away. Hitting him had not made me feel better and now I would hear about this later. Great just great. I found myself in front of Balor's Needle. I went up and sat at the edge and looked out at the city. Flari had loved it up her. I'd brought her up here knowing she'd love it. I'd had a hard time keeping her from dancing. That's where they found me face pressed into my knees. Red eyes thou I hadn't let myself cry.

They brought me down I didn't even look at them. No one asked me anything because they knew. They knew just what I knew. That she was gone. It wouldn't have taken much to find out and it's possible that dad had known for awhile maybe even since she left. But I had to say something they were all looking at me like I was scaring them. "You'll be happy to know that Flari and I are no longer together as it seems she left and I have no idea where she is. It's over now. I think I'll turn in early tonight if no one is opposed." I looked and found that it was well into the night. Hmm I wonder if I should correct myself. I actually started laughing. Flari would have told me I was stupid for not knowing what time of day it was when I'd been outside the whole day. I laid down and didn't sleep. I got up and made a formal apology to uncle Numair and aunt Daine who seemed quite upset with me. Sara asked me where the pretty lady was and I froze up. I didn't know anymore. "I don't have that answer anymore." I told her as I left.

I needed to focus I had to keep going but I needed a break. I found myself laughing again I could hear her telling me I didn't need a break as I clearly had already broken. That's when I started to cry. Thom found me and took me to the university to his room. I hadn't been here before. He gave me a drink and without even thinking I downed it only to realize it was Rum.

"It's a very bad idea to get drunk Alan but if it'll lossen you up enough to talk to us than I'll give you as much you want." He told me as he poured me another glass and I smiled at him.

"She'd tell me that I was not a very pleasant drunk thou she'd only seen it once I've too much of mom in me some times." I told him as I drained the glass once again.

"What happened?" Thom asked me.

I thought about how little Thom and I had talked both growing up at the Swoop and since he'd left to study his gift. "I love her."

"Yeah I think everyone knows that but I want to know why she left. Why are you breaking apart like this?" Thom looked in my eyes trying to work out what was going on in my head and I looked down at the now full glass of Rum. I pushed it away I could hear my own words to her in my head.

"She said one thing too many that night and she didn't feel like she could stay in Corus anymore. Stupid liquor." I could feel it warming my chest and I wanted to scream.

"Is she really the type to run from people Alan?" Thom asked me.

I looked at him like I'd never seen him before. "No." No she wasn't. She would never run in fear of anything unless it was to protect someone most likely a child. That word screamed in my head and I actually reached up to hold my head it was so loud. "NO!" The charm she hadn't been wearing the charm that night. I couldn't breathe anymore. I don't remember Thom leaving but he came back with Neal I was glad he had been smart enough not to bring mom.

"He's just started hyperventilating I don't know what happened."

"Calm down Thom. He doesn't seem to have anything wrong. Alan what can I do to help?"

"She wasn't wearing her charm she left because she wasn't wearing her charm." What the hell was I saying that didn't hardly make since to me. And Neal couldn't really be trusted with this he was close to mother and dad. I was having a hard time getting air it just seemed so thin.

"Flari wasn't wearing her charm. When Alan what charm." Thom asked he looked panicked

Neal smiled at me it was a sad smile. "I heard about Flari a lot. I even went to meet her once she's something else that's for sure. Alan did you sleep with her without her wearing a charm."

I nodded and Neal just smiled sadly I saw Thom turn white he did not want to have this information. "She's gone and she won't be back. I'll never see her again. She's gone I love her and she left. I'm a fool." I got up and walked outside into the fresh air.

"I'm sorry."

I jumped and looked to find uncle Numair. "What do you have to be sorry about I'm the one who hit you."

He smiled at me but unlike everyone else his was real that made me feel better somehow. "I'm sorry she left. But she'll be back if she really loved you she won't be able to fight it I should know I tried once didn't work for me won't work for her. Nobility. Age. These things are meaningless trust me if she really loves you she'll be back. The only question you have to answer is does she love you. If you answer that then you know if she'll be back or not."

"I…" I looked at him with hopelessness I was lost and I really needed someone to pull me back to the path I'd so confidently been walking just a few days ago.

"Does she love you Alan I'll understand if you don't know the answer but what do you believe?"

"She loves me. I know she loves me. She told me so. She told me that I was the only one and then that morning she left me. But she does love me I have no doubt that she meant what she said." I was finding it hard to breathe again.

"Well then she'll be back. Tell me I know this is stupid but you love her right? You'd give up everything to be with her if you thought that would make her happy?"

"Yes I wouldn't be happy about it at first but I'd grow and get over it as long as she was there with me. I'd do anything for her and she knows that but I know that she doesn't want me giving up things for her. She knows what is important to me and she'd never let me give that up. She'd make me keep working toward what I wanted until I had it. I want her and I want my shield I don't think one really has to have anything to do with the other." I looked at him. "Do you really think she'll come back?"

He smiled and started to lead me back toward the palace. "Yes she'll be back and while she maybe contrite over what she's done by leaving I would recommend not letting her apologize. She's young and stubborn she has every right to be both strong willed and confused. Let her take her time things will work out. I mean look at me. I currently didn't think that things would ever work out between me and Daine but look how long we've been together and remember that most of that time was spent trying to convince Daine to marry me and even then it took her getting pregnant to finally agree to it."

I stumbled a bit and Numair looked back at me in concern. "I think I may have already done that."

"Done what?" Numair looked confused.

"I.. we.. she might.. I mean I think it's likely that she's.." I cut off I couldn't say it out loud it would be too much. It would make it real.

"You think she could be pregnant?" Numair looked shocked.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. The more I thought about it the more likely it felt. Flari wouldn't run from anyone short of herself. And she would have known she always knows.

"Well then… I hope she comes back soon. I wouldn't even begin to know how consol you over missing the birth of your first child." Numair pulled on his nose I smile and it was real.

"It's ok don't try and find her. She'll be back like you said. I just.. I was being stupid is all. Thanks for letting me take things out on you and not getting mad. Do you think aunt Daine will ever forgive me?"

Numair reached over and messed my hair. "Trust me when I say that Daine isn't really that mad. She was more upset that I let myself get hit. I told her after the healers fixed the crack in my jaw that I knew you were going to hit me when you started to move toward me but I couldn't.. I didn't want to leave you alone. I wanted to help."

"Well thanks. I really wanted to talk to you months ago. About everything. I wanted to talk to everyone but I couldn't I was afraid of what might happen to Flari."

"What did you want to tell me then?" Numair asked sitting down in the grass.

"I felt so strongly I wondered some days if maybe she was somehow spelling me into it but I know she wasn't I felt stupid when I thought of it and I feel a little stupid saying it now." I sat next to him.

"Yes love does feel kind of over powering at time. It takes control of our better judgment and it makes us into complete fools. We forget about the people who'd mattered most to us before and we do the dumbest things like trying to ignore it in hopes that it'll go away."

"Yes you were quite stupid. You know Ally knew the whole time from the very beginning. She told me when she first saw you together she knew that you were just like mom and dad. I wish I could tell Ally about all this but I wouldn't be able to write it down in a letter." I sighed and laid back in the grass. "I'm tired." I laughed again and drifted off.

"Yes it's quite draining sometimes." Numair smiled at the sleeping boy. He remembered watching him play with his twin when they were just learning to walk and now here he was helping him with his love life. Things sure go quickly.


	12. The Twins Return

The months that followed Flari leaving Corus I trained hard. My knight master had asked the king to let him stay in Corus since Buri was now 7 months along. I think that the king agreed more to it because everyone was waiting for me to fall apart again. My whole family held their breath. Thom had told mom that I believed Flari was pregnant and her temper had flared but I had calmed down a lot thanks mostly my rum induced talk with uncle Numair. Flari would be nearing her 6th month and she'd be showing by now for sure. I dreamed often about her and the growing life I knew she protected from the world that scared her. Dad got word of a mage who'd been working weather spells up north. According to the report he got the mage was a young girl and she looked to be with child. It was her I knew it was. The only thing I didn't know was what in the name of all the Gods she was doing trying weather magic, which is not only difficult but dangerous and not just to the people it's acted on but the mage who wields it. Had she lost her mind. I wanted to get on my horse and find her just so I could shake her.

Mid-Winter approached with all the dread that came with being ready to take ones ordeal. Buri was now only weeks from giving birth and Rauol was driving her nuts. I wondered what Flari wound be doing if she were here. She had said that she would take care of Buri. I had hoped that meant she would be back for the birth of their child. But nothing so far.

Ally attacked me from behind and I was overjoyed. "Alan!" She hugged me and I pulled her into my room and locked the door by setting my desk in front of it. She cocked an eyebrow at me but said nothing.

"I've been dying to talk to you. I met a girl. I assume you know about that."

"Yes tell me all about her. Mom and dad seemed a bit unhappy and wouldn't tell me anything about her so talk." Ally ordered she really did remind me of dad.

"Her real name is O'cell but she doesn't answer to that. She's a twin and a mage and I'm sure that she's pregnant. Flari left and I can't make her come back. I don't even know where she is. I haven't let anyone look for her. She won't like it if we try to force her to come back. Gods Ally I miss her. I don't want to take my Ordeal not knowing where she is but I can't and won't let anyone track her down. She has to come back on her own. Ally please I need to… I don't know what I need other than to have her back here. No I need to know that she is safe. I'm worried all the time and I can hardly think straight but if I show how I'm really feeling to anyone but uncle Numair everyone looks at me like I'm about to jump off a cliff or something. I'm not giving up my shield. I've decided that this is the path I want to walk and I'm not going to be deterred."

"Alan I know you can do this. I came here to be with you for this big moment in your life. Did you say she's pregnant? Wow. I can't believe that my brother is going to be a father. Now why in all the Realms are you so unwilling to just check and see that she is alright? I bet Numair could do that for you. You wouldn't have to find out where she is just if she is well. What do you say?" Ally looked at me with a smile.

I was an idiot and uncle Numair had tried to show me many times and I had refused. "I like that you know me so well sometimes. Flari would have called me an idiot. Let's go." I moved the desk and opened the door. Ally rolled her eyes at me. It was wonderful to have my twin back but it no longer felt like she was my other half the way it had when we were kids.

We were able to able to find uncle Numair easily enough as he was once again ignoring his work to play with his children. "Ally!" He gave her a hug at the same time that Sarra and Rikash hugged Alan. The pair had become rather fond of him in the last few months. "I'd heard that you were coming back. How are you?"

"Well. Very well as a matter of fact. Nawat is here to. I think he's with mom and dad. I'm gonna have to go relieve him of the twins soon they're a year old if you can believe it."

"Numair could you look for Flari for me? I just want to see if she is alright." I knew that Ally could be a while if aloud to really talk with Uncle Numair and while she wouldn't forget why we came someone was bond to realize that Numair was once again with his kids instead of working like he was meant to be.

"Sure." Numair walked over to the desk on the other side of the room and pulled a small mirror out of a drawer. "Let's see if we can't find her." Numair sat down with Sarra on one side of him and Rikash on the other. He poured is magic into the mirror and for a moment it was black. After a few minutes a picture appeared. Alan gasped in shock and ran from the room. "Where is he going in such a hurry?"

"That room she's in does it look familiar?" Ally looked at Numair and they both looked down at the mirror and smiled.

"What a unusual surprise." Jonathan was shocked to see the young woman before him but he didn't show it. He'd just come from a meeting with an ambassador from the Copper Isles. "What can I do for you… O'cell or would you rather I call you Flari?"

"Call me anything you'd like I don't care. My former family is planning a coo. They and some other noble families are going to try and over throw you most likely by killing your family. They're stupid and crude but that makes this all the easier. Introduce me at court tonight it's the night that the queen picks the order of the Ordeal. I wish to openly attack them. I'm the best candidate to make them slip up. I can call them before the courts and take everything they have. I don't want what they have but I see now that I have to stop them. I will never say this again so you had best remember it." Flari glared at him. "While I will never call any man my king I am pleased to say that you are a king." She looked away from him.

Jon smiled it was the highest recommendation he'd get from her and he knew it. This girl who claimed to hate him really liked him quite a bit. "Well that's fine then. You should go see Alan he's been out of his mind worrying about you."

"That fool should know I can take care of myself." She sounded put out but she smiled like nothing could please her more. Her hand rested on her stomach.

"I see he was right about you being pregnant." Jon said and she looked up in shock. Fear was in her eyes and even thou he'd never met her before Jon knew that this was wrong. This was not the type of women who ever showed fear. She was powerful and self assured. He was sure it was that self assurance that lead her to test herself against the Chamber of Ordeal. Then even more troubling she lowered her head in shame and a single tear dropped down to hit her hand that rested on her stomach.

"I… I could not stand to stay here knowing I was going to have his child. I should have stayed thou I have deprived him of so much. So many moments of his child's life that I can never give him back. I behaved like a cowered and I feel like one." Her hands curled into fists. "I am ashamed of the way I've treated him and I would not be surprised at all if he has given up on me." Her voice broke over those last few words.

The door opened. "Your Majesty Squire Alan of Trebond and Pirates Swoop would like to have a word with you." The guard said.

Flari looked up in horror wondering how he could have known she was here or if maybe he really did only want a world with his Kingly god father. She couldn't run but she had hoped that they could talk after the King announced her tonight.

"Let him in." Jonathan said.

Flari looked at the door with her head held up and for a moment she looked like the clam confident women she really was but the second Alan walked in the door the mask fell of her face and shattered on the floor. Alan didn't even look at the king not even a glance. "Flari." He fell down to his knees in front of her and pulled her into him. "I have missed you." It was clear that he wanted to say more but he was aware of the king regardless of the lack attention he paid him. "Majesty may I beg your leave please!"

"I was just about to go anyway." Jonathan said as he walked out the door.

The door closed and Alan placed his head against her stomach. "By the Gods I've missed you. I feel like I can finally breath now. I love you so much more than I realized. Flari I beg you please never leave me again! Please whatever it takes to keep you here with me!"

Flari put her hand over his mouth. "Alan don't please." She cried. "Alan will you please ask me to marry you one more time?"

"Flari will you…"

"Yes! Yes please!" She pulled him up and kissed him.

"Gods I missed you so much." He pulled back a glared at her. "Don't you ever make me worry like that again!"

She sobbed. "I never want to leave you again unless I have to. I hate it but I'm a noble and it's time I started taking up that roll. I want the best for our child. I want you." She pulled him back into her hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry. I was a fool. I behaved so childishly and I was wrong. Please forgive me."

"No. There's nothing to forgive."

**OK party people a few more chapters and we'll be all done with this story.**


	13. Blue Blooded

**I know I've been awhile but I was writing other things and stuff and well this story is reaching the part were normally in my head it falls about I've sort of acted this story out with many different versions but this is about the point where it falls apart. I hope that writing it out as it comes will hold it together. If not I will bust out the duck tape and get to work sorry if this takes some time.**

Standing just behind the door to the hall was driving her nuts. She was to enter and announce herself if things were to go as planned. The queen had already drawn the names for the ordeal and Alan was the longest night. She smirked at the thought of how much that was likely to drive her out of her mind. Music was getting ready to pay and the squires were just starting to pass out food and drinks from trays. She took a deep breath and let go of her carefree life with a smile as she stepped back into the world she'd happily run from.

"You majesties." She came up and everyone stop as the king and queen looked at her. "I would like to bring to the attention of the court a plot for treason by the Faelen family." A few people gasped and the whispers began.

"That is a serious accusation you are making. Tell us first who you are and how you came by this information. The Faelen family is one of the oldest families in Tortall. I require more than the word of an unknown child to take such an accusation seriously." Jonathan looked at her carefully making it appear that he was displeased with her information not because he believed it to be true but because of who she was accusing.

Flari glared at him for a second before softening her gaze to that of one who is quite abashed. "I am O'cell the youngest daughter in the Faelen family."

"O'cell died years ago. Your majesties please have this imposter taken away." A woman in her fifties stepped forward looking outraged.

"It's good to see you too mother." O'cell smiled at her.

"O'cell?" A young women stepped forward with a look of shock on her face. "It can't be… Great Mother it is you. O'cell!" She ran over and hugged her.

"Orrei it's nice to see you too. But could you not hold me so tight please sister."

"Orrei! Get away from her she is an imposter. Your sister died eight years ago!" The lady of Faelen snapped at her daughter while glaring at O'cell.

"Oh please like I would want to be related to you." O'cell snapped.

The lady of Faelen stepped forward and just before she struck O'cell Alan stepped forward and grapped her arm. "I would ask you kindly not to strike my fiancé." There were whispers over this as the room heard this.

"Alan?" Alanna took a step toward her son only to be held back by George.

"Not now mother. We can talk later." Alan looked at O'cell with concern. "Are you alright?"

"But of course." She smiled at him before turning a more serious eye to the King. "Your majesties I ask that my family be taken before the courts and striped of everything. My sister and my younger brothers are likely innocent and should not be taken to trial but I understand that when one lives in the house of a traitor that they are charged as thus. I wish that as you have done in the past show that you are better than the kings of old who would take children to the stocks just because their parents were treasonous. I know that it was done for a reason but showing kindness as well as intelligence has worked quite well for you so far." O'cell looked at the king with demanding eyes.

"Would you swear your loyalty to me if the courts ruled that your requests be met?" Jonathan asked knowing this might be where the whole plan fell apart.

"I would swear loyalty to no man but my husband. However as long as he serves you. I to will serve you." O'cell looked at him with cold eyes clearly weighting each one of the words before she spoke them. "I have nothing against your majesties. I've seen many good things happen under your rule."

Jon knew that was the best he would get. If he pushed it she would come out and tell him that while her loyalty lay with Alan she would never truly serve any king. "These accusations will be taken to the courts first thing in the morning. I suggest that the Faelen family find a better argument than that this girl is not your daughter as that is clearly untrue." Jon glared at the Lady of Faelen.

**Ok well I'm gonna write some more for this evening and well soon for O'cell read Flari if you got confused.**


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